Look, the housemates are ordinary people, just like us. Well, most of us. We can’t speak for you. You might be a weirdo. That’s cool; let your freak flag fly. Anyway, it’s not totally out of the question that you might find yourself with one of the housemates coming over to your house for a fun day. You might even move heaven and earth to accomplish this. The question is, what do you do to make it a chilled experience for them?
Firstly, don’t give them any tasks to do. They’ve had enough of that. As for the rest, here’s a quick guide to make sure you put them at ease.
What to cook
They say the quickest way to a person’s heart is through the stomach, but that’s a blatant lie. In truth, it’s through the ribcage, but if cardiac surgery is not your thing (it can get a bit gross), then the stomach is probably the next-best thing.
So, what to cook? Well, it obviously depends on whom you’re cooking for, but a good bet is pasta, as it will work on Ipeleng (especially if it’s creamy), Yvonne (if it has seafood), Justin, and Tsatsii. That’s 33% of the top 12, right there. It would work on us, too, if we’re being honest.
For the other housemates, you might need to break a sweat. For Blaqboi, you would need to fly that Nigerian flag and offer up pounded yam and vegetable soup (although he does admit to liking spaghetti, too, so you could squeeze him in with the pasta lovers). While we’ve already mentioned that Yvonne likes seafood pasta, she’s also a fan of Afang soup – which she likes so much she once begged Biggie to drop off the ingredients so she could make it for the house.
Khosi and Blue Aiva have a major overlap in their taste of men … nope … we meant “food”. Both of them love chakalaka – Khosi with chilli wors (sausage) and Blue Aiva with a good old braai (barbeque).
Kanaga Jnr and Nana both go for jollof rice, and Nana likes to pair it with spicy chicken or turkey. Miracle OP – Nigerian boy through and through – likes himself some egusi or garri. Basically, some form of starch is the name of the game for these three.
What about Ebubu? Well, he’s easy. When asked about his favourite dish, we received the simple reply of “beans”. That’s it – just beans.
What to watch
So, you’ve got a meal cooking, but it’s time for some entertainment. Which movie are you going to pull up? This is a bit of a mixed bag, so we’ll just do this quick and easy with a list.
Ipeleng: Catwoman.
This will make her happy, but it does mean you will have to endure watching Catwoman, a dismal flick featuring Halle Berry with her eyes on a pay cheque instead of her own acting, earning herself the Golden Raspberry for “Worst Actress”. To her credit, she proved she had a sense of humour by attending the ceremony and accepting the award.
Justin: Home Alone
This movie is probably as old as Justin, so it’s a bit of a weird choice. How did he ever see it? It means that somebody must have said, “Hey, Juju, I know this oldish flick you’d absolutely love.” And that person was right. Who doesn’t like a little bit of torture for deserving burglars?
Blaqboi: Parasite / the Avengers franchise
Okay, so you have a tough choice, here: watch the four MCU movies, with a total running time north of the rest of your life or settle down to check out a South Korean black comedy thriller. Actually, the latter flick sounds pretty good, scooping up four Oscars in 2020.
Khosi: Just Go with It
Okay. This might be tough for some of you, but others will find it right up their alley. It stars Jennifer Aniston, in one of her non-independent performances, and Adam Sandler. That is all you need to know. That information, alone, should let you know if this is your thing or not.
Yvonne: Pitch Perfect 1 & 2
Okay, we’ll admit to liking these movies, but we’re really impressed with Yvonne, here. See, the Pitch Perfect series is a trilogy, but she carefully left the third film off her list, which is a sign of good taste, because the third movie was ill-considered dreck that actively made one hate the main characters.
Nana: Wednesday
Okay, we imagine Nana’s referring to the series and is a fan of Jenna Ortega in the current reimagining of the Addams Family character. Or she actually likes the 2007 short film by Rob Sorrenti about serendipity. It won Best Short Film at the Fort Lauderdale Film Festival if you were wondering. We doubt that you were.
Miracle OP: The Princess Bride
“My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”
Yes. We approve.
Ebubu: Aníkúlápó
The only Nigerian film on the list, this is an epic fantasy film described as Nigeria’s answer to Game of Thrones and a good representation of Yoruba culture. We’ve not seen it, but we’ve just added it to our list, because that sounds like all kinds of awesome.
What to play
Music, you gotta have music (especially since that’s the theme of the week). But what to play? We asked the Nigerian housemates which SA artists they love and vice versa, providing us with answers that would create a pretty awesome playlist.
If you want to get some of the South Africans bopping to Nigerian tunes, it’s a safe bet to break out Burna Boy: Ipeleng and Khosi both listed him as their favourite act from Nigeria. Justin went with Asake, while Tsatsii rates Wizkid. Blue Aiva kept it vague with Afrobeats, which gives you a lot of leeway as a host.
As for the Nigerians, Blaqboi likes Kwesta from South Africa, Kanaga Jnr appreciates DJ Maphorisa, and both of them dig Nasty C, along with Miracle OP and Ebubu. As for Yvonne and Nana, they didn’t get the memo, and listed Beyoncé and Nicky Minaj – who, last time we checked – are not from South Africa.
What about Thabang?
The eagle-eyed among you will have noticed that none of Thabang’s preferences are listed in this article, and you’re probably quite furious that we’ve so cruelly left him out. It’s not fair, is it? Here’s the thing – it’s not our fault. He left the questionnaire blank, so we have no idea what the man of mystery likes to eat, watch, or listen to. You’ll just have to ask him, yourself.
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I’d leave this out and just provide the answer if someone moans.