These days, it’s not unusual for men to play the single-and-ready-to-mingle act while hiding a wife and kids at home. This is why, as much as it sounds funny, one of the most common questions on a first date has become, “Are you married?” And it’s totally justified! Too many people have fallen for the sweet talk of someone they thought was “the one,” only to find out he’s already taken. So, how do you spot these undercover husbands? Here are some classic red flags:
He only wants to meet at hotels
If he only wants to meet up at hotels, that’s a flashing neon sign right there. It’s not that he doesn’t trust you with his place; he probably just can’t risk wifey finding out about his “hobby.”
If he does take you home, the place feels like a staged Airbnb
If he finally decides to bring you home, and you notice a distinct lack of personal touches—like, say, pictures of him—then it’s time to raise an eyebrow. Seriously, who doesn’t have a few portrait shots scattered around their place? If the walls are as bare as his excuses, you’ve got two options: either he’s squatting in someone else’s house, or he’s hidden all the family photos in a closet before your arrival. Either way, it’s a big red flag waving in your face, signalling that his marital status might be less than single.
He loves secluded, dark corners of restaurants
When it's time to go out, he always insists on the most hidden corner of the bar or restaurant—and it’s almost always late at night, just for extra cover. Sure, maybe you’d find it a little suspicious, but he’s already sold you on his “I’m just a private person” act, so you brush it off, thinking he just prefers a quiet spot. Girl, he’s hiding. Watch his eyes—they’re darting around the room like a Secret Service agent scanning for threats.
The mysterious “Burner” Instagram page
If he’s got two Instagram pages and one is suspiciously sparse, private, and oddly devoid of family photos, take note. That’s his decoy, a carefully curated look into his “single life,” created just for occasions like this.
Calls after dark are “Unavailable”
Have you tried calling him late at night, only for it to go straight to voicemail or see that his phone’s on Do Not Disturb? Hate to break it to you, but it’s not because he went to bed early. It’s just a bit tricky to whisper sweet nothings when his wife is right next to him. But don’t worry, he’ll call you bright and early, telling you how much he wanted your voice to be the first thing he heard that morning. Just know that he has already left the house—where it’s safe to chat without interruptions.
Drives a Minivan or Sienna
This is a Hall of Fame red flag that screams for your attention! It sticks out like a sore thumb, and it’s all you need to gauge his marital status. Let’s be real: only family men and maybe teenage boys drive minivans or people carriers. After all, how else is he going to cart his kids to school and his wife to the market? If you spot a Sienna in his driveway, you might want to reconsider that romantic rendezvous.
Ghosting like a pro
He could vanish for weeks without so much as a text or a call, crafting some excuse about being “too busy” or “not in the right headspace” to chat. The truth? His wife is in town, and when she’s around, he’s got zero time to juggle his affection for you. He’ll always return with some excuse ready to roll, but now you’re wiser to the game. Don’t let those sweet nothings fool you anymore!
His phone? Completely off limits
His phone is off-limits, which is a classic red flag. Sure, every partner—single or married—might have something they prefer to keep private, but if he’s putting up barriers around his phone, you should be on high alert. His marital status isn’t the only thing that could be sketchy; there’s likely a lot more hiding behind that screen!
Love-bombing overload
Let’s talk about love bombers. These are the guys who don’t have the luxury of time to slowly work their charm through the talking stage—mainly because they’ve got a wife and kids waiting at home. So, what do they do? They love bomb you! It’s their go-to tactic for fast-tracking intimacy, skipping all the awkward small talk, and diving straight into the "goodies." That way, they can wrap things up just in time to head home, tuck the kids in, and plant a goodnight kiss on their unsuspecting wives.
He’s in his late 30s and too perfect
In his late 30s? Let’s keep it real: 8 out of 10 times, when you meet a seemingly perfect guy in this age bracket, he’s probably already taken. If he checks all your boxes, there's a strong chance someone else has already snatched him up, and he’s just playing dress-up as a single guy. It’s like he’s auditioning for the role of Mr. Right while quietly holding onto his “Mr. Already Committed” status.
So, there you have it, the survival guide to spotting a married man masquerading as single. You’ve got the knowledge, now use it wisely! And if you want more juicy tips, tune in to My Fairytale Wedding every Sunday on Africa Magic Showcase at 8 p.m. – because let’s face it, spotting these undercover players is practically a sport.