The notion of love has evolved and as proven countless times, it isn’t a ‘one shoe fits all’ kinda thing. Woven by different experiences and ways of expression, it continues to define the shape relationships take. Be it Eros, Philia, Storge or Agape, love is what the world deems the ‘ultimate’ achievement. Since February is the month of love, we took a rather slow drive down Lekki Egbe with some of your favourite Africa Magic stars and gisted them on three pressing love-related questions. This is what they had to say.
Venita Akpofure
Advice to younger self?
If she could time travel and steal a few minutes with the younger and less experienced version of herself, Venita would carve the following into the tablet of her mind: “There is more to a relationship than love and how you feel”.
We’re certain you would agree that while feelings play a significant role in the process of choosing who to settle down with, they are not the only determining factors.
What would you change about the past?
Though Venita feels that her past decisions have directly influenced the trajectory of her life and got her to where she is right now, she certainly would apply tact in her decision-making, and use more logic instead of emotion.
Advice for thy neighbour
“Do what makes you happy and once you find it, protect your happiness!”.
Linda Ejoifor-Suleiman
Advice to younger self?
“I would tell her that she’s worth more and that she shouldn’t let anyone tell her she deserves less”.
What would you change about the past?
Linda feels that her guard may have been down way too many times in the past and as such, if she could turn back the hands of time, she’d work on strengthening her boundaries, and add more height and width to her guard-wall.
Advice for thy neighbour
We’ve seen this written all over our TLs and Linda totally agrees. If it doesn’t feel right, it’s because it isn’t right. Periodt! Trust your instincts. In addition to that, be mindful of how a significant other treats other people because that’s ultimately how they will treat you.
Folu Storms
Advice to younger self?
If Folu could play ‘ghost of my future self’ and engage with her younger self, she’d shed some light on the importance of loving yourself because one can only pour into another’s cup, what they have in their own.
What would you change about the past?
Like Venita, Folu believes that our pasts are the seeds from which the fruit of our current journeys grew, so the only change she’d make would be to pay more attention to the lessons brought about by the difficulties she faced.
Advise to thy neighbour
The same advice she’d give her younger self is the same she’d offer the next person. This, she explained, is because there’s a twisted belief that other people can complete us in ways that we aren’t able to complete ourselves, and this leads to broken expectations and unhealthy patterns. Folu believes that the joys we seek elsewhere, should in fact be found in ourselves.
There is no guiding manual that contains the rules of engagement in relationships. Do, prune and take care of what makes you happy, in your own way.
Stay loved up with your favs by catching Venita and Folu on Unmarried every Wednesday at 9 pm on AM Showcase, and Linda on Tinsel every weekday at 19:30 on AM Showcase.